Introverts.

"It's better off keeping hand full of real friends to your heart than bunch of friends around you just to fill up lonely space. I'm really over playing house with people that'll be there just so not to be unpleasant."

Change of pace!
So the drawing below, drew it for a friend of mine's 21st bday present. She's got a lovely red/orange tone hair and I really tried mimicking the colour... but turned out more strawberry than firey. Whoops!

21 Shenanigans

So my 21st bday has arrived and flew by like the winter wind...

Jokes, the celebration was a bundle of warm fuzziness that lasted for a good two weeks or so. Because I'm such a b-day-celebrating person,(totally.)

Jokes (I'm hilarious,) only because my dear mother and sister went to Japan right after the actual day so the part was held two weeks afterwards, which worked out pretty alright since we were in the middle of the hell period with uni anyways.

:)

I won't go into details, but I really am blessed to have all of the amazing people in my life. Special thanks goes to my parents and Amaya for listening to me whine and stress over this entire thing (and for all the help too of course!), Rikako for helping with the decos, Laura for the amaze-ball cupcakes, Rach for flying all the way from Melbourne, Bini who landed 2hours ago from KL to Goldcoast and came by even just for a bit... and, I'm not being materliastic, but thank you all soso much for the thoughtful and lovely gifts. My group got me an iPad...dunno how they knew that I wanted one (fyi the only apple product I've ever wanted) and to the collective friends who all got together and got me copic pens. Seriously. And lastly, the amazing staff at Sweet Delicious! I should have gotten a picture of the team, they did an amazing job on the night! Definitely a recommended hide-away Bistro/Cafe/Bar in the midst of Sunnybank Hills. 

Check it! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sweet-Delicious-Sunnybank-Hills/142874009220310

Well I thanked some people individually, but the fact that most of the people I invited showed up made me just tear up (inside, my you), just like the time from the art show. And for people to associate me on daily basis to be pretty frank. Who would have thought, that skinny ratty looking girl who couldn't speak a word of English from ten years ago would end up with such an amazing individuals. Curious to how everything turns out to be right?   

Alright! Shall stop right here, and move on with the photos..and I've got lots of art/scribbles too :3 but thats for another time. This post is all about me and me!

What I did when I was supposed to be doing assignments :3 The back of the invitation can be seen in the next photo (got cats in them and all!)

The dessert table with Laura's fricken amaze-ball cupcakes. Thank you so much for them xx 

Rach :3 And thanks for trusting Amaya with your camera! (and for the edit you did over them too)

She's an one talented young lady, do go check out her photos (huehue, we traded framed arts/photos as bday presents to each other)

Link to her photography blog: http://rachelmaytan-photography.blogspot.com.au/

The group xx (minus T and Sach)

 The polaroids (courtesy of Rach), which I still havent had the chance to scan it through yet

 xx Bima

Of Roses Overdose and Midnight Ramble (it's that time of the semester again!)

 Finally got around to finishing her! The original was supposed to be more 'blue' and simpler...but well, this will do for now! This is also my first digital painting.

Anyways.

Poisonous thoughts running through me at the moment,

and not making me feel very pretty, both inside and outside :/




(If only one could talk everything out. Or that one could come down from their high horse. And stop comparing yourself to make yourself feel better. OR put you down in front of other people/your friends, which fyi, is the worse thing I think you could do to a close friends. Seriously kids, don't be an adult like this one. Or the fact that just because you couldn't choose do be/do in your life, overwhelm me with jargons and make me feel insecure with my own choices. Agh but I need to stop worrying about other people/I need to refrain myself from taking it out on other people. Get your shit together Carol!!)

...Haha, well, that's my Gemini in me coming out full force ;) Oh the forever contradicting thoughts and actions~

But seriously. 

Maybe I'm little bit on the edge since I have a design assignment due on Thursday, and I...kinda don't know what to do. I think I've lost confidence in design for a bit. But I need to do well, not just to prove to others but more so to prove to myself that I can be okay with architectural designing. (Please, please let the design me what I'm imagining in my head!!)


ps. 3D modelling software's are mega hard :( 

Moustache Magazine Feature+Facebook Page

Just something I forgot, I got interviewed by these guys few weeks ago, 

Check it out here Moustache Magazine Feature! (I sound like a little air-head high on sugar, baaahtwhatevaaa)

I honestly should have read the 'about me' section of my own blog before answering any of the questions... :L My memory's apoling when Im under pressure or when I'm on the go/no proper sleep for couple of days.


Also, I got maself a Facebook page! (why? Because I dont have a proper place to refer people to when they ask for a site...I cant give them the blog link, or redbubble...so facebook it is :/)

The Facebook Page! Come say hi x)

I dont think I need a website yet anyways. What I do need is to draw some more stuff up though, just for fun/me :) Or go on another holiday/dissapear off into somewhere, that would be sweet.

*Off to the magic land!*

I lied. I know what I need to do -asides from the critical review and the archi assignment, I need to draw something featuring Sri lanka. I've been meaning to do this forever and ever, but haven't been able to get around it yet. I'm may not seem very patriotic to the native Srilankans or the Srilankan born 'foreigners', but I'm do have a lot in me... You cant switch on and off something like this you know >( ...well this is topic is for another day! I have a rant about nationalism/internationalism I need to get it out

TCKids

Edit: Gee, I only really talked about myself in here...only coz I shouldn't be blogging at all right now D: I only blogged about myself since this topic has been annoying me for past few days. Maybe one day I'll make a proper post about the whole TCK topic :)

So I was watching this guy...don't know how I got to this, but one phrase got me stuck. 

Yeah thats right. 

TCK.

AKA "Third Culture Kids"

D:



Have I been living under a rock or something, theres actually a term for this!? 

"...A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of [their] developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background."

(totaly quoted Wiki just now, badass alert)


But anyways, yeah, I guess Australia would be filled with TCKids... but I think bringing another culture to the mix takes it to a whooole different level. No, I'm not being melodramatic or self-centric, nor do I think I'm more 'special' (in every level possible, I guess...) than the 'normal' or 'TCK'ids just because I got the 'third' mix... Its just little bit hard and lonely to culturally click on with other people. (This probs got to do with the fact that Imma down right introvert with weirdass-artfart-wanna be, but yeah, so this becomes more so of a problem.) 

I mean, wouldn't it be super duper nice to have a chat with your average TCK, aaand bring on the third mix? O: Thats like I could be talking to SL/Aus kid about places and hometowns in SL, and suddently talk about the other home town in Japan. I guess I got a couple of Lankan friends who were born and brought up in Japan, now living somewhere else... but they literally live somewhere else :( A proper chat and fb chat is totes different!!

For instance...lets just say, for a Sri Lankan person coming to Australia, yeah that would be hard, culture shock, different accent, blahblahblah, but the SL community here is fairly large, and it would be super easy to get along with other students/families who just came from there. And same thing for Japanese. (Im only pulling these two up coz...theyre the closest to home and all.)

Now, how many of you have actually heard of... lets say, an Asian born and brought up in a African country, and then moved to a western country. As for me, how many of you have heard a Srilankan born and brought up in Japan, now living in Australia?


Its so awkward and bothersome to explain when I get asked the 'where are you from' question. Because, yes, by my looks, I'm 100% Sri Lankan. Not even going to deny that, and I don't want to deny that. And I guess I am pretty lankan when you look at my daily life basis stuff. Lot of 'native' Lankan has said Im pretty much like a Australian, but...heeck no, you just don't know me well then :/

With the Australian side... yeah sure, I got a piece of paper and a passport to prove that I'm an 'Australian', but nothing beyond that defines the identification for me. Sure, I'm super westernised in the sense of mind set, but I can't really relate to the whole 'Australian culture'. (The whole 'true blue' and 'ANZAC' spirit. Mind you, I wholeheartedly respect both of said spirits, just doesn't feel like a part of it.) But I do know that my attitudes and beliefs got solidified, but will keep on changing, because I was able to spend my teenage years here. I guess in that sense I am a uber spoiled to the core, since I had that luxury to grow up in such a open minded culture. I got to meet so many different people from different countries, cultures, social and economical backgrounds... and going to MacG ovbiously played a huge role (: Also my 'rents! They are still very Srilankan, but very very...open minded? Probably because they lived in Japan for nearly 20 years before coming here, probably mellowed down the culture shock by gizillion time.

So by looks, Im ovbiously Srilankan/Australian. I don't really care if people just passes me as that, but I can't help but say that I was 'born and brought up' in Japan when I get asked the whole 'where are you from' question. It feels like I'm trying to deny the fact that Im Srilankan though... But I'm not D: I'm just letting them know, because I will be little different from the native or TCK Srilankans. Its hard to present my self to a single culture person without sounding like 'I LOVE JAPAN' freak, because they don't understand the significance of actually been brought up in a totaly different culture. 

To be frank, I didn't even realise I was a ' foreigner' while I was in Japan. I knew I was 'Sri Lankan', but I only fully understood when I went to Australia and came back again. I didn't even know the term racism properly because I was deeply in the Japanese culture; I truly felt like a part of it. I obviously knew there were discriminations, but they happen on daily basis, and to anybody who looked or acted even a little different. And I know other foreigners in Japan got discriminated a lot... but I guess I never really thought it might have happened to me back then.

Btw, I seriously didn't get bullied while I was in Japan. People get surprised or they think I'm lying, but I honestly didn't get bullied. Im sure they were some light ones here and there... but I guess I was one happy kid :P And my friends were pretty kick ass, we would bully anybody who looked as me funny. (omg, thats sounds horrible now that I think about it!!) They still are :)


Man, I'm not sure if I was a happy-go-lucky kid or...just a clueless idiot :L


Anyways,
So...as I was saying, it is difficult to present myself as a single cultured person, because I know bits and pieces of three completely different cultures, yet most of my peers have not fully experienced any of one culture. Which technically means I have to 'act' around to accommodate to their cultural setting. Booyeah, which technically makes me a fake little...person. Im not btw!! I mean, I am still me in all three different cultures! But I don't wanna scare people away or think I'm being uber arrogant. I just wanna fit in!

Ooo there, I said it! But it is little sad that no one has really seen the real 'three cultured' me.  Probs only my fambam and...couple of friends in Japan. I mean, I got heaps of close friends here as well, but they don't need to know that side kinda thing. They won't be able to relate to it anyways, so no point pushing them 'this side' of me :LL They'll probs tell me to quit the pointless deep thinking anyways lolol. 

But but it would be nice to find some similar TCK like me in Brisbane...Anybody?? :))

Sorry for the typos d:

Technology these days

Wheeeeew I got blogger on my phone! These are the time when Im ubeer glad I got a phone with a keypad and a touch screen :) っんでもって日本語でもこれからブログできるし! So now I can...blog while Im on the go! Which is pretty sweet in my case since my bus rides usualy takes from 1~1.5hrs ish. (Usually just less than 1hr though.)


Am on my way to Community Centre atm, for homework help volunteering thing. I went last week for a little interview, so this is my proper first week. Eeeek!! It really is the hardest to take the first step, isn't it? D: I mean, it is hard once you get into the flow of things and 'trying to be the best you can' crap, but for me espeically, the first inital act scares me senseless.


Oh, Im talking about human interactions btw! Im good with going to new places, trying new things...but when I have to interact with a new group of people, I guess I got the butterflies rather than the excitement. The introvert in me's ready to dig a hole and hide in it forever kinda thing. And also, me being the unexpectly realisticly pessimist when Im all alone, I can never ever calm the nerves by myself. Thats why I sometimes have the burst of 'ineedtobearoundmafwends!!', just so I can get a grip on myself...aaand of course just to chill with the said friends :L


But anyways
Going under Clem 7 atm. Gee I really dont come to this side of the town at all :/


||


Eyaaah just finished for today :) it was pretty good, I was helping out a lovely girl (from Thai! Preetty long hair and all. Not that it matters, but she was friendly and thats always helpful) with her scientific report.


On velocity something.


Now I kinda got a confession to make... Ive never ever learnt physics at highschool :/ when they were introducing it at grade 9, I was conviniently not there since we had to go to japland... And I did natural science in grade 10 so never touched upon the world of physics...and forces..and velocity. Good thing I read random rubbish so I understood the task! (Well, the task wasn't hard but I really dont know much besides the basics...) But besides that, it was super sweet :)


Even saw a pretty cat in front of a pretty blue done up Queenslander! And now im heading off to get some dinner with Beans x)